Trip jitters

I had a nightmare last night. Johana wanted to leave us because it was too much work, and she was sick of it. I was begging her to stay, and I woke up in a sweat. Then it occurred to me that a life without Johana is going to be my reality. Very soon. Ugh. And when I am in the US for vacation, I won't have Carlos either. I am so excited, but I am just anticipating how hard it will be. For instance, every day Emma spends the morning at school, and I spend the morning doing my thing. Charlie plays with me when I am home, or Johana while I am doing stuff. Basically I am free in the mornings. This will not be the case. However- I am also itching for some freedom. Oh the joy of being able to just pack up the kids and go out for the day. Not having to work around lunch, or picking Emma up. And I CANNOT wait to drive again! Since we still don't have our car, I haven't driven in 2 months. So that also means I haven't been able to go shopping leisurely in 2 months. I am so excited to go to Target :) Now I am off- I need to get ready for my Chocolate skin treatment, whole body exfoliation, and massage :) (Another thing I will miss in the US :) On another topic- I am avoiding thinking about the trip home. I can't even wrap my head around the fact that it will be me and both kids. Carlos is coming to Bogota with us, so I am not at all worried about that leg. Esp. since it is only about 45 minutes. The other two I am worried about. Each flight is about 3 hours, and fortunately they are both during Charlie's normal nap times. Fingers crossed :)